Going the distance for a long distance relationship

Are they really worth it? This is a genuine question I’m asking you because I’ve managed to find myself in a bit of a…pickle. Here it goes:

I met this guy a few years ago and we became quite close friends, however the whole relationship was basically via text. I’m in the UK and he’s in Germany. After over a year things started to kinda escalate, emotions started to heighten and a certain 4 letter word was exchanged more than once. We talked every day, he was the first person I spoke to in the morning and the last person in the evening (and sometimes early morning). However, because he’s a few years older than me, he started to make things too serious too fast. It scared me to think that he might be the only one I ever had a “proper” relationship with and I was feeling trapped. I cooled things off, saying we shouldn’t speak anymore, but neither one of us could last a few days at a time without talking.

It got to the point where I found it pointless to be talking to him because we weren’t having proper conversations and he even forgot my birthday, which is stupid I know, but it hurt. Anyway for a year now we have been talking once a month or so, but I can’t help thinking of him and what our lives could be like. I’m always so tempted to ask if he wants to get back together, but then I get jealous thinking that other couples get to do meaningless stuff like lying on the couch together or simply just sitting on a bed chatting, instead of just messaging each other.

What should I do? Is anyone in a long distance relationship that is working? Does anybody have any advice for me because I’m really stuck in the mud with my head saying one thing and my heart saying something else.

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