Last night I went and met the people volunteering at St John’s Ambulance. I felt welcome straight away and I became very excited when told what things I’d be doing and experiencing, well apart from the drills that we have to do…I’m not the most sporty person in the world, especially since I’m still in the recovery process from the operation that I had on my knee. But I’m not going to allow that get me down because I finally feel like I’ve found my feet somewhere. The sad thing is, I don’t really have anyone to share my feelings with. I don’t have a friend who’s interested enough in me to find out what I’ve been getting up to. But that’s okay, I’m going to do my own thing and they can do theirs. I need to focus on bringing up my grades and experiences so that I can secure a place at my top university.
You may be wondering why I’m telling you this, well it’s because I want my voice to be heard, and I seem to be mute in my current situation. It’s just a nice thought to think that somewhere, someone out there is listening to me. I’m not a great philosopher and I’m not that interesting, well, if I’m going to be honest, I don’t excel in anything. The only thing that makes me stick out of the crowd is my height. I’m scared that I won’t be accepted by anyone because there’s nothing special to me. I’ll admit I’m a little insecure, but you can’t blame me. Every class I’m in, there is someone else that gets all the top marks effortlessly and there’s me, working my butt off to end up with an average grade. Am I the only one who feels this way?
I can’t wait to find somewhere where I’m not ignored and left to be on my own. To be with people who want to be with me and are interested in what I have to say. I think it would be accurate to say that I’m stuck in a depression at the moment, but I am trying to get out of it. It’s one of the reasons I started blogging.
Are you the one left, right and centre or the one who quietly watches in the background?